Milk and Cookies

Milk and cookies

are the classics caked on

to the stories unwraveled

during love's long yawn.

And we push on

through the times we write

our sweet summer songs,

and the dead of winter

when love's seemingly long gone.

But milk and cookies

remind us that loves never gone.

It's just a pause we feel, like a brief yawn

in the middle of a story

meant to soothe someone's anger

with all the world's wrongs.

And if the cookie crumbles

during the dip,

you'll find it at the bottom

after a few more sips.

Where The Song Belongs

I need to free the bird

its sweet song went unheard

it tried to sing the melody

now it can't wait for you to leave.

And it'll fly fly away,

might live life someday.

It'll lift me by my heart's strings

carry me while it sings, and swings those wings

with the rythm of reality,

the feeling of fatality.

So break, off

let the bags go drop

and don't bother worrying

about if it'll suddenly stop.

Because balloons all pop

and all diamonds cost a lot.

Some things just won't ever change

so don't get too hot.

But the bird's one word

it got stuck in my head

it said, "if you think bitter, makes better,

i'll tell you something else instead"

"the only truth in life, is that you're blood bleeds red,

anything more than that was purposefully left unsaid"

And if you believe in that,

you'll learn that life was begat

by the brain 'neath the skull cap

worn to cover whereat,

your dreams are all real.

You don't question how you feel

because this state of mind is inanely ideal.

It's where you'll fly fly away,

might live life someday.

It's where you can create,

and be great,

and be left to narrate,

what you want to happen

so you won't become irate.

But the bird's gone mad

beats it's wings so sad.

Because it never really had

what made it more than glad.

It loved flying on the wind

but the walls caved in.

It's got a song to give

but it got trapped within.

But don't fret, or fear,

For it'll fly fly away,

might live life someday.

I'm sure it wont stay,

And it'll all be ok.

Street Smart

I cut the ties, in my mind

drew up the draw bridge

that you used to drive by

You were too scared to cross it

I guess you thought you lost it

just the confidence, 'cause when the pain came

you winced.

You cried in, laughed out.

Out loud, and it seems now

that you're all about

being up, down

and going all around.

Well listen to me now

'cause I could tell you how

this life you live will get worse

if you keep calling without

knowing the voice

on the other line, on the other side

of the very thin line, that you crossed

when you toyed with mine.

I wish that I could say

it won't happen again,

but when I send,

false hopes, I tend to pretend

I feign and I fake. My heart's one mistake

is when it makes me take,

a second look when it creates

that love in my veins,

pumping into my brain,

so I could only the think of one way,

one game to play.

And if I win one day,

I just might say,

I'm sorry for ever having acted this way.

Might

lift up the light

can you handle that?

brighten the other side,

of the world

because the sun can't reach

chased out of sight

can you stay mad?

lighten the pillow,

on my bed

it's become heavy

beneath my head.

paint on the ceiling

write on the wall.

might we wish,

wish for it all.

pain on the ceiling

writhe on the wall.

our world's turned,

twisted, preparing the fall.

up the stairs

down to the roof

walked up my walls

then stood aloof

walked into the bathroom,

looked down at my feet

and in the mirror i saw

no one there besides me.

i picked up a bulb

it lit in my hand.

glowed in my eyes

i gave the command

so all the lights

on the dark side of the world

flicked on so bright,

and awakened that girl

she opened her eyes

got up out of bed,

grabbed hold of the light

and understood what i'd said.

Would You Wonder

The shadows took a saunter

crept they did, they have been.

Slowly they have wandered

right back into my mind.

I wonder when winter

will wind down the wind,

when it'll stop wasting my efforts

to preserve what's within.

Could you cry for me

but just this once.

It's been way too many

long dark months.

Snow in my mind

sleet in my eyes,

I couldn't confide

'cause the cold had clouded

it had disguised,

my heart's pounding,

against my skin stretched tight.

I wasn't trying to hide,

I never had lied.

But tonight, this night

part of me died.

Though could I remind you

of the memories we had,

and how last winter's weather

wasn't nearly this bad.

And how one last morning

might be all that we have.

Boomerang

Here and gone.

A year's not long.

One day at least,

belongs inside me.

Light left on.

Something's wrong.

You play with the switch,

as if I won't burn out.

Fury furrows my face.

Your grace, misplaced.

And softness surrounds

my heart's sweet embrace.

Lead me away,

from her heart wrenching games.

And please pave a way

to the sun lit place.

Where we wasted our days,

or so it seems now today.

Since the lovers have left,

or perhaps they've been delayed.

A year's not too long,

but here and forever is gone.

This dream has gone wrong,

but we still get along.

Find me I'll find you.

Can't hide the truth.

I see right inside you,

completely confused.

Mismatch

mismatch. good times

i'll rhyme the lines

car crash. ask why.

try living a lie

soon to be, never was.

we'll see, just because.

time ticks, clicks with

a simple beat that won't miss.

riddled rhythms don't win

they never will, they just spin.

wrap your head around this

i wrote a long list, called loveless

and it seems to me, you're on it

you're off it

you're on it

stay off it

they say don't quit

but hope did.

its just another long lived

drawn out dying flame that i thought God lit.

but in the end, that's the point

that there's an end.

whats left to mend?

it's pointless

it's just a mess.

so what's left?

time to rest

rest my body

my heart, my soul

before i go back, back to the old

or if the old comes back,

i can't help but question the fact

the fact that's now a trap.

we might just be a mismatch

One Life

one life

is all you need

one life

is all you see

what you dream it to be

is not how it seems

to be playing out.

watch as i leave, you'll

look out for me, no

you won't you don't

you can't you won't no

in time

they said to me

it goes by

well not easily

i'm waiting for a map to guide me

i'm asking for the light to blind me

you're lost between the night's and day's dreams

even if by chance can you kiss me lightly

what you dream it to be

is not how it seems

to be playing out.

watch as i leave, you'll

look out for me, no

you won't you don't

you can't you won't no

Weak

can you take this disease

it's been ravaging me

took control of my mind

like a hand's grasp on time

met you, and with me

there's no doubt that i see

what is meant to be free

but what is more like a dream

it rids rhythm from design

so the seconds tick slower,

than the minutes they mime

reluctantly i fear

that you might overhear

my illogical beat

which sent streaming the tears

Slumber

wait

i've been here before.

but why is it different?

there is so much to adore.

this bark, it's old.

this grass, it's fresh.

that dandelion died,

ready to grant its wish.

this is a place,

where dreams exist.

where wonders and worries,

all seem to mix.

hide and seek.

tag your it.

i think this pile of leaves

is where i'll sit.

Swim

Out of place.

Out of line.

Since when was it right

for you to decide?

First hide.

Then confide.

Then spread,

the vicious lies.

Conform.

I'm torn.

Wrote rules for peace

provoking the war.

I stood chest-high,

mid-stream I screamed.

A current of tears

washed over me.

Ripped me away

from all my dreams,

pulled me downstream

towards destiny.

Crash

Come in, come in.

commit, commit.

I just can't get over it.

Why is it raining?

it's the wrong time of year.

please stop the car,

please turn around here.

I'm wet, I'm wet.

my cheeks are red

the water, it's cold.

do you remember or regret?

You're blurry, you're blurry.

I cannot see.

it's not worth trying.

I'm starting to bleed.

Just me, just me.

broken glass,

shattered dreams.

Wake up, wake up.

Get up love.

You have no idea,

what I've been dreaming of.

I've Known You All Along

brought forth

to the front of your mind.

you'd spent so much time

trying to leave it behind.

but not this time.

when i pick up a piece

it shatters again.

so many

too many

scattered within me.

i see where you are.

lost in the dark.

and i'd be that light,

but not this time.

there's another beside you.

and you think he's the one,

but he is lost too.

now look what you've done.

you have the map,

i've got the light.

they work better together,

but not this time.

I've Begun To Forget, But I Forgot To Begin.

Hit me while I'm not waiting.

Dive in for me.

Listen closely,

my soul is still breathing.

See the breath,

in the autumn air?

That summer is gone,

and your love's left my skin bare.

A life-like light cradles me now.

Wraps me with warmth,

burns through that cloud.

For the first time in a while

my head's not wet.

It's my cheeks that are ruined,

scarred with regret.

Do I Know You

Open up!

Haven't you heard?

The new man's here,

get down stairs.

Who really cares?

Let go. Just let go.

If you count down now,

you'll just chicken out.

Just do it.

What a slogan.

Could you use it?

What if you're broken?

Good thing I'm not.

Good thing I'm here.

I'm still intact.

Even if I do care.

Listen and learn:

Care for the ones,

that treat you good.

Let go of the ones,

that you think should.

If you want it,

you can get it.

It can be that easy.

Leave me, want me,

find me or lose me.

It all seems,

so simple when,

you take the time,

to look within.

Know what you want dear.

Know who you are.

Know who you want by your side,

when times get hard.

Gone Missing

You blew me a kiss.

It flew a light airy flight.

It landed softly in my hand,

right next to mine.

And once it landed,

I blew it right back.

I forgot to take yours,

that's when I first felt the draft.

I left the door ajar,

because I worry where you are.

But I know I should close it,

before I start to scar.

Give Me A Map

write

down.

write out

hum a soothing soulful sound.

can't I get lost,

lost again?

board that train

with no regards till when.

figure things out.

give me a sign.

I don't have any land marks

and I feel I'm running out of time

I look down the line

and back in time

'cause I cant take now.

I need out of this mind

what makes us feel?

what makes us know?

what makes life real?

and who makes us whole?

nobody knows.

no one's future is told.

where's the fun in that?

eventually your plans unfold.

just like your clothes.

the ones you put in your suitcase,

and bring on the road.

but oh well.

let's not put on a show.

we'll just go.

What They Say

Why can't it be like it used to be?

Why can't you see like you used to see?

It angers me. It hurts me.

One wide eyed moment,

then you turned to leave.

I've been told not to worry.

I've been told it'll happen some day.

"You've got so much potential,

and much better things will come your way"

And since there's always a "but",

I'll avoid that for now.

I'll suck up my pride,

and listen to life drown me out.

Get lost in the flow,

in another one's soul,

if you've got no music,

just leave in the headphones.

Do this.

And do that.

I seem to nod off,

to the rain's pitter-pat.

When life hand's you lemons

they say make lemonade.

Well I've got a citrus fruit basket

and the sugar's been misplaced.

There doesn't seem to be just one word.

Descriptions can't describe what can't be heard.

Up until now, what have I learned?

I thought I knew something, but now I'm not sure,

in fact I'm starting to doubt, that it even ever occurred,

that it was real, or true, or if I meant anything to her.

I can say though, for what it's worth,

that I truly loved. And I still do yearn.

Because while life moves on,

and the whir drowns me out,

there's one song I can't ignore,

one loud steady sound.

They say this.

And they say that.

But my heart says something else.

And that's what makes it worth fighting for,

the fact that my heart's got something to tell.

To Seek What's Sought

i want to go to sleep

and forever dream.

i want to close my eyes

and roll down my sleeves.

i want to put up the mask

and live life free.

but that just couldn't be.

would i still be me?

The Cycle

What happens when you've checked every step

and past every phase

and gone is the summer, where you spent so many days

kickin back relaxing

dreaming 'bout the way

you used to live your life

until that fateful day.

You met another moment and you let it slip away

It figures that a woman would be the one to initiate

the pain that you feel

and cause everything

and drain all the colors

to turn the world to gray

and now the only thing

that has a chance alleviate

is the thought you keep in mind

that hopefully things will change

but listen to me girl I understand the way you feel

I now know what it's like to live through something so surreal

Don't wait

for a second chance to roll your way

I believe

now that you've stopped believing in me

I hope you know I'd treat you right

you know that I'd stick by your side

hope you know I'm waiting

for that night to arrive

x2

I hope you know I'm waiting,

hope you know I'm waiting

for your life to meet mine.

...new song =)

Dig Deep

A lonely longing

for a shred of light

but the hole gets deeper,

tunneling through my mind.

When I get to the top 

I seem to slip,

and when I climb the sides

the clouds start to drip.

It's like a glossy fog,

smudged with mud,

and how to get out,

is all I'm thinking of.

But deeper and darker

this endless pit becomes,

further eating me away,

until my senses go numb.

My blood runs cold

and my luck's run out,

though there's still a beat in my heart

my hopes lay riddled with doubt.

Two Part Heart

Part I

click click

pop.

Thats the sound that was made when I broke the lock.

let them

drop.

The walls that you've built to protect what's soft.

It's nonstop.

The search for a start to something that's got a shot.

Ask why not.

If there was ever a reason hopefully it's just been lost,

to the thought,

that he's not,

just another boy caught

by the looks, that he got

when he took a second a shot,

at a lot,

because he sought,

to fix the double knot,

that he forgot,

has him tied, down to one spot,

in a world, that's been bought,

at a worth that's come to naught,

instead he's just another boy, looking to get lost.

Part II

I'm not a mugger in an alley,

or a thief on the street.

Just come over to me and I'll show you what I see.

I've got a picture in my mind,

and a thought in my head,

that maybe this beginning can have a happy end.

Haven't you ever heard?

Just go with the flow,

it's better to regret than to never even know.

Now don't be too flattered,

this is just how I am.

I'm just trying to prove that you can trust taking my hand.

The Masterpiece

Orange takes a dip in a dark cold blue,

warm subtle shades

greet early risers, as they make their debut.

And all the other colors swim in the reflection of her view.

As the darkness fades,

white canvas is replaced.

Beauty is conveyed

and hints of light touch her face,

a captured moment in time is timelessly portrayed,

through an artist's eye, grace can be saved.

Yellow swells up past the waist,

and illuminates the night to welcome the day.

She paints and paints, because she must,

and all of his hopes lay at the tip of her brush.

She introduced inspiration,

through a slightly imaginative interpretation.

And when the sun had risen,

she stepped back from her creation,

and smiled a while,

because she'd freed herself from all limitations.

In Time

Let's take some time

to write down a song.

It'll have a catchy chorus

so we can all sing along.

We can burn all our books

and dry out the streams,

then in move the tears

that wash out our dreams.

So then things start to seem,

like they weren't meant to be.

And we wind ourselves down,

stretch out, and sleep.

And in a dream, i began to see,

what i felt, when i watched you leave.

I learned so much,

and patience is key,

for there is a link, from you to me.

And it may dwindle in time,

but i'll kindle the flame,

i'll keep it alive.

So don't you worry,

keep living your life.

Maybe in time,

it'll meet up with mine.

Just smile for me darling,

and we'll work on a melody.

And when we finish our song,

I'd love for you to sing to me.

A Lovely Lie

What does it take

to create something beautiful?

to put a mark on this world,

and make use of every syllable.

Apathy ties, into reasons why,

we make up excuses for why we cry.

and in turn the result, is a temporary fix,

something simple that eases the mind.

Rest my love, just leave it be.

read my heart and feel it bleed.

beat it out, before it goes ablaze.

sometimes love must go to waste.

A breath on her neck,

she shivers and gasps.

don't worry I'm here,

I said I've always got your back.

Mystic mist, obscures my sense

until every thought is in past-tense.

and white lace frills that black book of mine,

where everything, all of it, lays intertwined.

My eyes ache for a soothing sight

I want to hear someone's voice, other than mine.

I miss the scent of her skin, so soft and light

the taste of her lips, and how she held me so tight

Who wouldn't want such a beautiful life?

simply said, it was just a lovely lie.

Same Old Story

Set me free,

thats all I said I would need.

But now its too late,

now things have changed.

Now is not then,

no matter how much I wish it to be.

I put more ink in my pen,

and I'm moving on with my story.

No push or pull,

I've got no say.

Leave if you want,

have it your way.

New stories, new scenes,

new memories.

But that same old pain

just won't go away.

It's the same old story,

just a different page.

And still the calendar changes,

who's deciding our fate?

Another Night

You hear the scream of a train

and in a flash you see yourself on the tracks.

no more pain

but with that thought comes shame.

So your life's turned into a march in place.

until you wear through your soles,

and your feet begin to bleed.

time is an illusion,

oh and if only it was a dream.

You wish so many wishes

and relive the memories.

but then you're left to wonder,

if it was even a reality.

Questions arise, to keep you up at night.

clawing and scratching at the bed sheets of time.

is this what it means to try?

you wonder why

There are no more tears

for tears have meaning,

tears are too beautiful for this emotional beating.

instead imagine falling asleep

and just before you reach that inviting dream

you feel yourself falling, into a sea

and your limbs are heavy,

remember you're trying to sleep.

so you drown deeper into the deep

paralyzed by the promises that you still keep.

until it all becomes too real

You jump up in bed, and out of the sea

because that whole time you were crying yourself to sleep.

Live To Fight Another Day

Shoot. bang. smoke and run.

streaks and rays of soiled sun.

shine your light through the fog

whisper wishes within the smog.

Delicate silence. fragile air.

shattered screams echo there.

cry out. hold it in.

strongest wins, thick not thin.

Weary wander on the field.

doubting that those wounds will heal.

wait it out. there's a burn in the wind.

the clouds might part, if you learn to forgive.

Spark

new life and new things.

lovely amongst a humming bird's wings.

a lively linger like a mystical dance.

in the mist of a forrest, lost in a trance.

lure me in to this new realm of light,

for mine casts a dull gray that's enveloped my mind.

I'm ready again for the bright white,

take me with you, and help me live life.

>:(

thankssss forrr all theee commentssss guysssss. ... thats sarrrrcasssmmmmmmm

:P!!!!!!!!!!! especially you laura.. i mean jimmy, i can understand, but... you call yourself a poet.

:'( 

jerkssss

(:D hehe)

A Summer Day In Life This Way

Let the sunrise, let the sun shine.

At first it casts shadows,

that stretch across the land.

But ride on, stay strong,

and glass will turn from sand.

It's midday, and the sun's haze,

makes for laze.

And lonely are the shadows,

that the sun's rays erased.

So there's no time for rest,

just time to play.

Dance while you can,

'fore the day starts to fade.

Arrives does the evening

for the noon can't stay.

And invited are the shadows,

that bring about the shade.

Wait a while, whistle a tune,

the evening too will have to leave soon.

Now in creeps the night,

it's been waiting, and lurking.

And night brings no friends,

just the midnight whirring.

Night's meant to bring sleep,

not recurring dreams.

But a new day's to come,

when midday melts worries.

cheerer up-errrr.... hehe

bippidy boppidy boo. hippidy hoppidy who? tweedle dee. tweedle dum. laugh a lot 'till your dumb! this is an absolutely pointless post. Alliteration! whoa. tucker. oh tucker bo bucker. fee fi fo =o. oh dear. i better stop. smile everyone! buhhhhh-bye.

Triers Cry

creation. confrontation. 

new life. 

dying. die. 

love. like. lost. cry. 

start over again. 

shine on. shine.

live a life. live a lie.

time. design.

master an art.

commit a crime.

production. corruption.

longing for something.

fickle. fine.

i confess. i try.

try. why?

no sense in hate.

no sense in life.

nonsense.

try. fight. cry!

emotion. consultation.

feel. breathe. fly.

fly high.

break out of the prison in your mind.

suppress. condense.

why hide in this mess.

live outside of the loneliness.

imagination. interpretation.

you know it's there.

you feel it in the air.

an electric charge. 

a fire bright.

you can't deny.

fight with me.

you promised me.

i still believe.

believe in me.

Patience

enclosure,

composure.

time spent fighting

realizing

that the world is but a compass.

roll over. roll over.

in under your covers.

it's only some thunder

up at night

down come day.

wandering on forever this way.

who? what? when? why.

questions unanswered,

demands made on time.

soothing sights

alive in my head

appease the fire

yearning for life again.

Summer Time Bitches!

I am soooooo creative in the summer! i love it! i will write in here again now. please post comments :). once you get in the flow of things, that's the time to just let go...

A Fragile Light

so the strike is over.

the wall has cracked.

but not yet can i wade through the water's wrath.

simple words, simple things.

a hurricane's wind

nothing more than a breeze.

a mighty storm, washed over her eyes.

but clouds concealed, any truth as to why.

now the storm covers all,

for it is stronger than all before it.

but still, within the storm is a purpose.

the inner eye, to the inner self.

knowing, believing,

faith is hard.

let yourself go.

don't give up that part.

don't give in, to the temptations of time.

take time.

do not let it take you.

silence.

oh silence.

why.

oh why?

let me be right.

to try, just try.

let love be the guide.

an effort to stay away

im not sure if i'll be able to follow through with this, but i'll really try. this is my realm almost. where a lot of my thoughts are. but, for however long it takes, or i need, i am going to try and keep everything to myself. im going to try and keep it all in a little black book. i'll try to keep it there. but just wanted to let everyone that follows me know. until then. goodbye

Dishonest Clamor

Long lost is not my love,
But faith in me for her

Liar’s leer
And tell of times
When they gave up their fear

Lovely long, shining hair
Beautiful to most

But in the end
It’s like a virus
And only drains the host

Lust is the word
Longevity is not.
Freeing, flying
Just short of dying

Time unkempt does not melt,
But festers ‘till it rots.

Bubble

bubbles pop.

water drops.

splashing what was dry

what is meant, is not kept.

you forgot to dot the i's

instead the boy, with the dreams

dreamt only a lie

for his bubble stick

and mindful wish

were thrown down on the ground.

he left it there, but sat to stare

wondering where it went.

why on the ground, instead of his hand

where it belonged, where it's always been

waiting. waiting. Because his wish

is with his stick.

he wants to blow that bubble again.

Only Lover's Eyes

sparkles rest in an ocean's mist

but what are they reflecting?

the natural ocean

black

there lays no answers.

an ocean in itself has no ripples,

no depth.

nothing is withheld in it.

ripples are the moon's making.

the ocean's life belongs to the creatures within.

the natural ocean

black

there lays no answers.

sparkles come not from the sea.

outside of it, is what you see.

the natural ocean

black

there lays no answers.

god did not paint your face on the ocean.

no lovely face returns your gaze.

the only way, to have him hear your prayer,

is to look elsewhere.

another mist, holds your reflection.

and it is not in fact another ocean.

but just as glassy,

just as clear,

it brims with life

and shuts in fear.

blue as the ocean is supposed to be.

salty, just as the ocean is bitter.

here is where you find your reflection,

here is where you find your answer.

Drown

The sun set dies, to let the sun rise

there's no moon, no night, no rest yet he fights.

the sun burns hot, and melts the time

until it gets too deep, and there's no more light.

there's just a puddle of heat, a circle drawn in the ground

now the warrior sleeps, because he has drowned.

Heart ache, high stakes

you might ask what it takes

you need to create, be great, make no mistake.

time moves on, but his heart stands still,

and in the heat, in his heart, there's a breath taking chill.

though an ember is left, signifying his will,

but the chord's unwound, his body goes down

not a peep, not a sound, he silently drowned.

What's left? why wait?

how much more will it take?

wandering in this desert of time

portrayed by the vastness, the elusion of light.

with every grain of sand, stepped on by the lonely lost man

grows his worry, and regret, for the recent love lost to him.

without her is this, all this terrible mess

a timeless black hole, and a world with no sense.

so he struggles for air, he cries out in despair

but when she finally came around, he had already drowned.

blogger food

There's some blogger food for you scavengers, since nobody's been writing....

A duet sung with the piano of let it be...

I blamed myself when i should've tried

to love that woman every day i lied

'cept i couldn't live with the guilt inside so I

said my goodbyes (male)

I blamed myself when i should've tried 

to love that man layin' by my side

But i couldn't quite grab the reason why he

left me that night (female)

Summer time and summer nights

I love how he used to hold me tight

But then he had to go away and

Oh how I cried (female)

Thinkin' back to the good old times

I'd never get along without her by my side

But then I up and went away and

Oh how i cried (male)

An old song...

Sweep over me

like a tidal wave

of inspiration

Come onto me

like a hurricane

of desperation

I will let you fill me up

help me realize our times done

would you stop and let me listen

And when our time has gone away

and when our memories start to fade

I'll still be here, in your shade

Brought onto me

like another tainted

temptation

Rush through my veins

like a second wave

of sensation

Teagen's one year present

Summer sun shines onto your face

blowing gentle breezes through your hair

you're sparkling eyes reflect the days

the days that've yet to come from the life we'll share

Waking up to you laying by my side

there's no better place to wake than within your arms

I'll sing all the softer notes to get you through the night

I'll even write a song for you to match the beat of your heart

<3

A call to love

Strength is immeasurable by any materialistic item. Endurance, just like time, is abstract. Longevity, is not something that can be counted or timed, but only watched. Music is not meant to be read, but heard and felt....

... I can only dream, of enduring it all. 

-I might add more later.

nahh, this is officially shitty....meh

BLAHHH!!!

Sooo, nobody has written in there blogs for a while, and im feeling, strange. i havnt been in school for a while so it seems like it shouldve been monday like two days ago. and i am verrrry cold, and im tired and sore, and my mouth is sore from the wisdom teeth thing, and this is a pointless entry, but at least it is something. ugghh and i have hooomework to do tomorrow: project, project, take home quiz, and normal homework. i wonder how much i can save for monday.... OH! and track starts monday! thats crazy, and me and teagens one year is comin up, im so excited. wow there's a lot goin on.

raaaaandooooom

well i dont have a whole lot to talk about, and its kind of lateand i need to study and im kind of tired, well, i guess i could just actually keep goin. but anyway i just felt the need to write sooooomething so here it is... i feel really happy lately, sort of, im not sure exactly what im feeling but i like it. i thinks its because my birthday just passed, music theory 2 is awesome, valentines with teagen should be cool, and our one year is comin up!! and track starts soon too. jimmy wiz thinks ill be number two in discus, behind him ofcourse ha, and it should be great this year. and oh, im findin all sorts of new things in people that i didnt know would ever be there =)

why is it, that i seem to get lost so often?

I feel like i seem to fuck everything up when i try to change something. So if I'm doing something one way, and then im told to try it another way since the way im doing it isn't very good, then i try it that other way and i just screw everything up. Its strange though, because it doesn't seem like life is overwhelming right now, its just my emotions. But i dont know what that means. I wish there was somewhere i could go for the answers, even though i know that the only place ill probably get them is from within myself. i just hope that i dont screw things up too much before i can actually get to the answers.

This is my first song that I ever completely finished. I don't know if I'll be putting too may songs on here though because I rarely ever finish them.

Fate

Take, what you want go ahead

Just leave the pen in my hand

And with it I'll write out your dreams

Hate, it's such a waste of my time

With all the hours I've cried

Please take the pain and misery, that holds a grip on my hand

Fate, it seems to be something that you can't escape,

Runnin on down the rabbit hole won't make

The feelings you have any more or less fake,

any more or less fake

As long as you know you'll  never lead in the race

you'll do fine

My thoughts were forgot, into the can, they rot

right outta the clutch of my hand, I'm not

the kind of guy that usually lets that happen, No

Real smart, I let go of what was real close to my heart

Beginning to peak outside the curtain,

I've realized that life's worth livin, Whoa

Taste, I hope you get a taste

of how it feels to be in pain,

This is not what I planned

Late, you're just a little too late

I know you're tryin to just help me out

But now you're just in the way.

Sense, it seems this whole time I've been fallin down

and now that I've finally fallen to the ground

I've gotten the chance to take a look around

take a look around

I had been falling but now I'm found

you did great

what a day

So, i was gonna do homework for the majority of the day, then maybe just relax some, and maybe even hang out with some friends for a couple of hours, and then to top it all off i would watch house at 8 pm to complete a productive, but relaxing day. But then there was what actually happened. I got up, or more my dad got me up before my alarm did around 8 am. Then i had breakfast and i took a shower and got extra-ready for the dentist at 10:30; which we were ofcourse late for. i ran into q. there though, so that was cool, but we wound up not being able to hang out because of the weather. Next my sister and my dad and I went back home to let the dog out, and he told me to call t. to she if she would like to go out with us to go to target to return something and go to quiznos and maybe do one other thing but that was it. But she was busy doing something else so she couldn't go. So we went out to target and my sister and I just looked at clothes for a good while while we waited for my dad. He finally came around with a cart full of stuff then we did get to get a shirt or two each but then we looked around the rest of the store for stuff we didn't really need and maybe for printer ink. We finally go to the register and then out of  the store and on our way to quiznos. We finally got back home at about 3:40; and it would've been later but he forgot the ink. I let out my dog, ate lunch, looked online at different dog breeds, and then started writing this. And iwas actually still in a great mood considering the day didnt go at all how i had originally planned it. Then after another interaction with my dad in the middle of writing this I had to put away some more stuff that we bought and close the front door that I should've known that he wasn't going to use when coming into the house. Then i came back to this and I'm now finishing it, then i should do homework that i wanted to do. Then there's dinner, and House is in 3 hours... I think i want to put another song on here too though.

One late school night last week...

My Favorite Part of Me

With all this hate

I couldn't fake

I couldn't hide

I could only cry

Could not escape

this twisted fate

I couldn't hide

I should've tried

These words i write

are my last goodbye

With all this hate

Why should I wait?

What more could I be?

What does it mean to me?

I couldn't fake

this is a mistake

It will heal, with some time?

Then just move on, live a lie?

They must not know what it's like.

The fog is so thick in my mind

A piece of my heart shriveled up and died.

For now, and since then,

I could only cry,

I could only cry.