why is it, that i seem to get lost so often?

I feel like i seem to fuck everything up when i try to change something. So if I'm doing something one way, and then im told to try it another way since the way im doing it isn't very good, then i try it that other way and i just screw everything up. Its strange though, because it doesn't seem like life is overwhelming right now, its just my emotions. But i dont know what that means. I wish there was somewhere i could go for the answers, even though i know that the only place ill probably get them is from within myself. i just hope that i dont screw things up too much before i can actually get to the answers.

This is my first song that I ever completely finished. I don't know if I'll be putting too may songs on here though because I rarely ever finish them.

Fate

Take, what you want go ahead

Just leave the pen in my hand

And with it I'll write out your dreams

Hate, it's such a waste of my time

With all the hours I've cried

Please take the pain and misery, that holds a grip on my hand

Fate, it seems to be something that you can't escape,

Runnin on down the rabbit hole won't make

The feelings you have any more or less fake,

any more or less fake

As long as you know you'll  never lead in the race

you'll do fine

My thoughts were forgot, into the can, they rot

right outta the clutch of my hand, I'm not

the kind of guy that usually lets that happen, No

Real smart, I let go of what was real close to my heart

Beginning to peak outside the curtain,

I've realized that life's worth livin, Whoa

Taste, I hope you get a taste

of how it feels to be in pain,

This is not what I planned

Late, you're just a little too late

I know you're tryin to just help me out

But now you're just in the way.

Sense, it seems this whole time I've been fallin down

and now that I've finally fallen to the ground

I've gotten the chance to take a look around

take a look around

I had been falling but now I'm found

you did great

what a day

So, i was gonna do homework for the majority of the day, then maybe just relax some, and maybe even hang out with some friends for a couple of hours, and then to top it all off i would watch house at 8 pm to complete a productive, but relaxing day. But then there was what actually happened. I got up, or more my dad got me up before my alarm did around 8 am. Then i had breakfast and i took a shower and got extra-ready for the dentist at 10:30; which we were ofcourse late for. i ran into q. there though, so that was cool, but we wound up not being able to hang out because of the weather. Next my sister and my dad and I went back home to let the dog out, and he told me to call t. to she if she would like to go out with us to go to target to return something and go to quiznos and maybe do one other thing but that was it. But she was busy doing something else so she couldn't go. So we went out to target and my sister and I just looked at clothes for a good while while we waited for my dad. He finally came around with a cart full of stuff then we did get to get a shirt or two each but then we looked around the rest of the store for stuff we didn't really need and maybe for printer ink. We finally go to the register and then out of  the store and on our way to quiznos. We finally got back home at about 3:40; and it would've been later but he forgot the ink. I let out my dog, ate lunch, looked online at different dog breeds, and then started writing this. And iwas actually still in a great mood considering the day didnt go at all how i had originally planned it. Then after another interaction with my dad in the middle of writing this I had to put away some more stuff that we bought and close the front door that I should've known that he wasn't going to use when coming into the house. Then i came back to this and I'm now finishing it, then i should do homework that i wanted to do. Then there's dinner, and House is in 3 hours... I think i want to put another song on here too though.

One late school night last week...

My Favorite Part of Me

With all this hate

I couldn't fake

I couldn't hide

I could only cry

Could not escape

this twisted fate

I couldn't hide

I should've tried

These words i write

are my last goodbye

With all this hate

Why should I wait?

What more could I be?

What does it mean to me?

I couldn't fake

this is a mistake

It will heal, with some time?

Then just move on, live a lie?

They must not know what it's like.

The fog is so thick in my mind

A piece of my heart shriveled up and died.

For now, and since then,

I could only cry,

I could only cry.